


A Yulepassing Past

by botgal



Category: Vast Error
Genre: Christmas Presents, F/M, Kinda, Past Relationship(s), Vast Error Yulepassing Jam 2018, Yulepassing anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 13:50:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16833883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/botgal/pseuds/botgal
Summary: A warm memory from Yulepassing of a romance which has long since gone cold.





	A Yulepassing Past

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea how old they were when they were still together, so I guess the idea is that they're just Young-er than they were at present in comic.

“Come _on_. Open it ya big goof! You're not supposed to just leave a Yulepassing gift in the wrapping. You're supposed to open it!!!”

Calder stared suspiciously at the large, shiny wrapped package he held in his hands. It was covered in a fine sheet of gold wrapping, each fold crisp to the edges of the corners. Actual sheet gold, even. With how easy it was to mass produce gold nowadays and how vital the preservation of the environment and natural resources were, it was probably worth less than paper colored to look gold. At least it looked nice, if nothing else. That and the little magenta bow she had stuck onto the top. He didn't even know where she found a bow that color. But it did add that personalized flair.

Still, even with the shiny enticement of a gift wrapped in thinly pressed worthless metal, he was hesitant. He looked at Serpaz on the couch next to him, eyes narrowed with distrust.

“I don't know. You seem awfully eager for me to... A bit too eager?” This was his first time ever receiving a gift from a kismesis. They were supposed to do that sometimes, right? Giving a prank gift to get the other's goat? He supposed. This was his first Yulepassing with a kismesis so the specifics were still a bit unclear.

“What?! Are you seriously suggesting I'd booby trap a gift?!” Her mouth gaped into a large 'O' of exaggerated offense. “Come on, Calder. That's prankster stuff. I am a refined and hilarious enough comedian to not have to resort to that kind of thing.” Her smile returned as a full force grin and she gave him a nudge in the side with her elbow. “Come on, just open it. I promise it's not something bad.”

“Alright then.” Calder tore off the sheet gold and dumped it onto the floor, ribbon and all, then held up the box to the light to see. His brow furrowed with curiosity as he laid eyes on the box's picture. A typically grayscale portrait of what looked to be a ship sailing on the ocean. In tne corner, he could make out the word kit before Serpaz distracted him by bouncing on the couch cushion with excitement.

“It's a kit you can make a ship in a bottle out of! I looked all over, but I finally found one that looks like the ship in your croquet course up top!”

“Wow, that's... kind of impressive,” he admitted. From the picture, it _did_ look just like the spitting image of a litter cruiser from those days when they once existed. “But isn't building stuff like this more of your thing? I don't know the first thing about building woodcrafts.”

“Well that's the _point_ ,” Serpaz grinned. “You're supposed to learn how to build it as you go. You get too caught up in your head for your own good.” She raised her hand and tapped the side of his head just for emphasis, only stopping when he ducked away and rubbed at where she'd been tapping. “So I figured this might help you get your focus on your hands instead of just stewing in it all the time. Sometimes you just have to try something new to get your thoughts straight, you know.” Her grin dimmed to a smile. “Besides, at least with this you might keep in contact a bit better. I always have some spare glue if you need more of it.”

“Are you sure? I don't want to take your favorite snack from you like that.”

“Shut _up!_ ” she squealed, slapping him on the arm. The both of them giggled, Serpaz from slight embarrassment and Calder in sheer giddiness that he'd managed to fire off a good retort.  
“Alright. I guess it's my turn, then.” Calder reached around his side of the couch and came out with a large cardboard tube. It was unwrapped, but the sides were already printed with appropriately festive colors. “Happy Yulepassing.”

Serpaz snatched it from him the moment he held it out to her, curious and eager to get at whatever was inside. After popping out the stopper at one end, she upended it so that the contents would fall out into her outstretched hand. When she had hold of the roll of paper, she unraveled it and gasped at the picture printed on one side.

“Seinfeld!!!” Indeed, there was the whole gang grinning out from the poster. Including the hornless master of comedy himself, Jerry Seinfeld.

“You said you were missing a good Seinfeld poster for your comedy wall,” he said. “It's an old limited edition. From back when the show was first coming out. I figured it might be just the one you were needing for your wall.”

“I love it,” she said matter of factly. “This one is going right at eye level, so I can look at it all the time. So you know what that means.” She gave him a pleased look. “You've got to put that ship in a bottle on display somewhere you'll always look at. That way it's fair.”

“Sounds fine to me. It will only give me motivation to make it look better than the poster if I put it on public display.”

“Fat chance of that.”

They stuck their tongues out at each other childishly, before both of them broke out into laughter.

“Happy Yulepassing, stupid.”

“You too, stupid.” Serpaz gasped with delight and fished out her phone. “Oh, hold on! We should take a picture! We're gonna want to remember this Yulepassing for sweeps to come!” She set up her camera while Calder arranged their gifts, and Serpaz slung her arm around his shoulders as they leaned into each other. Barely able to cram both the presents and their faces into the shot.

“Say 'Yulepassing'!”

“Yulepassing!”

–

Calder's expression barely changed as he gazed at the old selfie on his laptop, still firmly set in a look of grim recognition.

That Yulepassing was a long time ago. And there were none like it anymore. Not for him, anyway. Those days were long, long passed.

With a short breath that could barely pass for a sigh, he snapped his computer shut and stowed it away in his rolodex once more. Along with the bottle of wine he had been attempting, and failing, to nurse throughout the night. That was more than enough of that for one night.

He rose from his chair, picking up the glass of wine that he'd barely been able to bring himself to touch throughout the hours he'd been sitting there. Even flavored with the evening's melancholy, it just never tasted any better. Taking to the stairs, he held the glass by the stem in one hand, keeping the other trailing along the banister.

He paused after a mere few steps, however. Gazing down at what lay around the bend in its little alcove between the stairs and the wall.

A familiar little ship in a clear glass bottle. His fingers stilled themselves on the railing they rested on, letting him take a moment to gaze at the cylindrically encased nautical craft. Almost instinctively, he raised the glass to his face as he gazed upon it tipping back the rim into his mouth. Predictably, he retched the moment the taste of expensive and supposedly fine fermentation hit his tongue, snapping him out of his quiet contemplation.

Grimacing from the taste, and the state of mind he'd caught himself in, he tightened his grip on the banister and turned his gaze away from the once precious item displayed on the small table.

“Disgusting.”


End file.
